12th Day: Another August to Remember - A Remark by Onyeji Nnaji

When I published my second book, Inheritance in the Loins (2007), I found later that I had taken enormous time to build the image of someone I had not seen, but desired to have as a wife. When I later found her, it became clear to me that  creativity is another art through which nature brings man closer to the most possible reality. She is Esther Chiamaka Nnaji.

As a maiden, she was the hope and expectation of so many people. Her presence alone was a very great source of joy to the people around her. Found in a relatively mature stage, she became the desire of many. But as the Igbo would say "Ozuzu zucha, onye nwe nwa nwe nwa", it was apparent that nature had surrounded her with various people whom she (nature) had placed the role of caregiving on their shoulders. When it was time, Providence brought me from my hideout. Meet the person I could not compare to other women. She meets every of the qualities that scripturally characterise a virtuous woman. I can proudly teach virtuousness in women because she taught me what it means via her characters. Let me share a little of these.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity”

What makes a woman different from other women is the extra-ordinary quality found in her. Colour in most cases does not distinguish a woman from many others since among the many, another woman may lie who would be of the same colour.  Height also does not mark extra-ordinary quality in a woman. Think of the possible thing that makes difference in a woman among his group, and you will observe that it is the nature of the vision in her. Every woman of substance is always visionary.  She foresees and pursues earnestly to achieve. Look carefully at the way she does things, you will observe that she is diligently pursuing a goal.  She seeks for the heritage  which stands the test of time. Not every woman knows this.

“She considereth a field and buyeth it”
A wise mother considers both sides of the things she does, the good effect of it and the implication warrants.  She does not rush things simple because she has the means.  Try and buy securities for your kids, and will things to them to continue life with. It is not a crime if a woman does that; it is the duty of a virtuous woman. Your heritage could be stretched towards this direction. It might not sound very pleasant at the beginning ;but keep it up, one day he will understand and will praise you. He will call you a wise one. It is this sort of woman that the scripture says “who can find?”

“With the fruits of her hand she plants a vineyard”

What God is looking for in us family keepers is the condition that will bring us to the very position where we can understand His demand from us on where it concerns our family and kids, particularly directing the whole responsibility to us parents, especially mothers. The virtuousness of the woman explained in proverbs chapter thirty-one is a view used by the teacher (Solomon) as he tries to roll off the vanial often committed by many mothers.  This mistake is that, since the scripture had declared them helpers, they now see it a guarantee and a defense to their idleness.  But, in the real sense of things, helper also connotes playing the role of the helped when “the helped” is not fit or is not available.  Esther proves that it is not too good for a virtuous woman to absolutely depend on the resources of the husband alone, contributing nothing. 

Having achieved this requirement, the function you have pefunded now will be seen on your children and husband, its effect. This achievement, notably, is remarked with the way your husband and kids will praise you.  Mark this; the praise you receive outside your household is never complete unless it had begun with your households. Your husband must declare you virtuous, then followed by your kids. Consider this: verses 23,28-29.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; many women do noble things, but you surpass them all”.

A good wife is always as a crown on the husband.  Everywhere he goes he puts it on.  He bears her in mind at his working place; in his communication with others, he could easily discover those whose wives are not better ones.  As he discusses issues relating to family matters he never ceases to use his wife for references. Very often you would hear him saying “--- my wife did this or she does that”. To him, no other woman is beautiful enough to compare to his wife.  Possibly, he may agree with you that someone is beautiful, but in nobility of character, nobody he had ever seen is like her.  Such a woman, everybody around her home knows her.  The glory in her ravishes the husband and the husband is respected in the midst of his fellow elders.

The amount of respect any husband receives from the people around him depends on how far you respect him as his wife. If you, the wife, respects him both inside your home and outside, and also respects yourself before people, then in counterbalance, your husband will be respected. But when you fight and molest him, people will not respect him because of your attitude towards him. The name you brand him is what people will know him for.  The secret is that, to people around, it is quite amazing how the man (your husband) managed to control you and subjugate you into obeying his commands when their own wives are shouting at them always.  At the city gate they ponder about all your ways and admire it, wishing to be like your husband.  They imagine him a lucky man whose position is worthy being in.

Conclusion

When such a loving life has been established and practiced recurrently among you both, it will surprise you how your kids will have the same love transferred into them and your whole house will be filled with joy and peace. And each day they will rise up in respect and collectively declare you “BLESSED”. To crown it all, your husband would affirm what the kids have said, thus “I have seen many virtuous women, but none have I seen that CAN be compared with you”.

This is my stand as we celebrate your new year under the grace that God has given to us.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LOVE!!!!!!!




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